Alternative phrases to “calm your tits”:
- soothe your boobs
- de-stress your breasts
- undo the calamity that is your mammaries
- adjust your bust before it combusts
Thank you for your time
(via illegalaustralien)
* Goes on date *
* looks around *
“I’m sorry, will the dog in your profile photo be joining us?”
(via illegalaustralien)
